The cast of “Jersey Shore” has returned–but this time they’re leaving the Garden State and heading to Florida.
On a quest to get the best room the cast raced from the wintry northeast down to South Beach because as Pauly D pointed out “you can’t get tan in this weather, you can’t creep in this weather, you can’t do anything. Girls don’t come out in this weather.”
Before heading to Miami we meet Snooki’s boyfriend Emilio whom she doesn’t want to cheat on while off in the fun and sun of Miami. And, as any good boyfriend would do, her new beau happily helps her get her skin tan from a can. “I don’t go tanning because Obama put a 10% of taxing on it and I feel like he did that intentionally to us…. Obama doesn’t have that problem, obviously,” says Snooki.
Enough about tanning. The cast is racing South to get their pick of the litter when it comes to rooms. On the way, Pauly D and The Situation –who are riding in the same car together– get stuck in the mud but no worries says Pauly D, “I got AAA. I’m a gold member.” When the first truck arrives, AAA gets stuck in the mud, too, leading The Situation to ponder “Who Does AAA call when AAA gets stuck?”
Meanwhile, Snooki and JWoWW are on the road together and make a pit stop at an empty bar, but before long a customer strolls along to show them his dance movies. Snooki, the cast member known for combining third grade acrobats with rhythm-less gyrates, is not impressed, calling his moves more akin to an exorcism.
Which may be what Ronnie and Sammi need to get over each other now that they’re broken up. “Whatever you do? Don’t fall in love,” Ronnie is warned by a buddy on his way to Florida.
New city, same cast. The Situation and Pauly D arrive in Miami followed by Angelina who decides to share a room with the two bachelors. When the ladies arrive they choose to ignore Angelina preferring to act like she’s a fly on the wall. Following an accident that sullied Sammi’s clothing the ladies of the shore are forced to rinse clothes in the sink and place them in a trash bag, which is a lot like the pilgrims we learn.
It’s off to party. The guys take one cab and the girls take the other. What happens? On the way to the club the ladies have a yelling match because Angelina’s not getting enough attention or forgiveness. This leads the always feisty JWoWW to threaten Angelina with violence. Par for the course. “I’m trying to be classy right now,” says Angelina. And, classy they remain as they head to the club walking in the middle of the street.
At the club the ladies of the shore are upset and there’s a lot of tension. Naturally, Ronnie and Sammi are fighting just like 2009 at the Jersey Shore. It seems to take Ronnie a lot of effort not to cry. When the cast leaves the club Ronnie and Sammi find themselves at each others throats before the men separate to party away from the women, except for Angelina.
While JWoWW is putting Vaseline on her face to prepare for a potential fight with Angelina, Ronnie is at the club hooking up with what The Situation calls grenades, meaning “a bigger ugly chick.” To let loose, Ronnie continues river dancing and making out with landmines and grenades as Pauly D, Vinny and The Situation look own in awe. They’re back. And a change of scenery seems to have helped their luck with the ladies.
What did you think of tonight’s episode?
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